The 3DE Experience
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then with different responsibilities”
Dare to Define Your Destiny – The 3DE Experience
The Aspire International Foundation “Dare to Define Your Destiny”, known as the 3DE Experience is an experiential learning experience. It is the process of learning through experience, and is more specifically defined as "learning through reflection on doing". The learning experience involves four stages, namely: concrete learning, reflective observation, abstract conceptualization (thinking about new knowledge and contemplating its usefulness and applicability to one’s life) and active experimentation.
Some of these what questions will be considered during the experience : 1) What did you notice about yourself in this experience? 2) What just happen here? 3) Does this happen in life? 4) Where does this happen in your life? 5) How can I use that? 6) What about myself do I like most? 7) What aspects of my life do I wish to see a change in? 8) Who inspires me the most and what is it that inspires me about them?
The 3DE Experience are for minister’s and spouses five years “from” or “have completed” full time vocational ministry. The experience provides an opportunity to personally refocus, reinvent, and repurpose one’s life and past experiences to reposition and redirect their path into the future.
Life Stages of Personal Development
Psychologist today contend there are eight stages of development in one’s life. Similar to the ancient Hebrew culture as they considered stages of development of a child through adult. The contention is that in each stage of development, a person experiences a psychological crisis which could have a positive or negative outcome of their lives.
There is agreement with the concept of an individual moving through these stages of development with each stage presenting an identity crisis. Identity crisis does not refer to a looming “catastrophe” but rather a turning point in the life history of an individual, in which development in that stage can only move forward by taking a new directional course.
Stage eight of development has been identified as “Integrity vs. Despair” age 65 to death. One’s life worth in this stage is not measured by the number of sermons heard or preached, the number of prayers prayed, or the number of songs one sang uninterrupted. One’s worth is not measured by the investments made in self, others and the things one creates, but our worth comes from God. We were created in his image; we have been fearfully and wonderfully made. We have a choice to accept that authority in our lives or live differently.
Characteristics of this stage involves one contemplating the investments made in the accomplishments of their total life, if one can see they have and are leading an effective purposeful life they develop a sense of integrity with their life to the end. Integrity in this context meaning the acceptance of one’s one and only life cycle as something that had to be, that had to be a sense of coherence and wholeness and living with hope. One who in some way has taken care of things personally, with people and adapted himself to the triumphs and disappointments of being.
If reflecting on their life with many regrets can cause feelings of not achieving their purpose and goals causing one to experience feelings of bitterness and despair.
The Integrity vs. Despair stage is triggered by events such as: completion of fulltime ministry, loss of spouse, friends, acquaintances, terminal illness and other major changes of roles in life.
Three areas to consider in this stage of development
Sense of Identity and Purpose
Many ministers scarcely know what to expect as they face completion of fulltime ministry. They believed they were called to ministry, as that occupation comes to an end their calling and belief in that calling does not. When the challenge of understanding their calling apart from professional ministry is bundled with free time paralysis can set in and many end up struggling with unresolved emotions allowing despair to settle in as they consider what they think is an uncertain future based upon an identity crisis.
Feelings of Displacement in Transition
Ministers wrestle with who they are when not ministering. God created work, and a minister’s work is his divine call, but there will come a point when one stops doing full-time work. It is at this time that a minister is faced with dramatic shifts in roles and various transitions.
Transition is a phrase at which events and environment alter one’s roles, relationships, routines, and assumptions. This transition significantly alters the minister’s role, relationships, routines, and assumptions more than others. It has the potential to alter your future more positively or more negatively than any other life transition depending on how you build your life at this stage. It is a process of planning and implementing lifestyle choices that promote your well-being.
Over the next three years 30% of ministers will transition out of full time ministry.
66% of ministers indicate they need help in understanding how to make this transition.
Only 10% indicated they had a personal plan for completion of full time ministry.
Expectations of Completing Full Time Ministry
Many complete ministry with expectations that their transition will function as a single point in time. You will discover that one’s transition functions as a never-ending process lasting till death. Viewing this transition as a single point in time breaks down as soon as you need a further lifestyle change and despair can settle in. However, if you view your transition as a never-ending process you will finish well.
COMMON COMMENTS among those who have begun their transition into retirement.
“I retire in three months, and this is not where I wanted to be at this time in my life.”
“After six months of retirement my wife said to me, I don’t know who you are anymore.”
“I have so many emotions down inside of me I feel as if I am going to explode.”
“After I finished my full-time ministry I struggled to know myself fully.”
“I did not know there were so many transitions to navigate through retirement.”
“The experiences with the horses was mystical, I had no idea the impact the horses would be to me personally, I was in a different environment, with different opportunities to “be” of which I could not rely totally on my past experiences in life, work, and relationships to help me in the arena, like the new arena of retirement. I highly recommend you experience the 3DExperience, its life changing”
Eight Keys to an Effective Completion of Ministry
There are eight keys to an effective completion of a vocation. These keys, when incorporated into a plan and executed through a new lifestyle, will reposition and redirect one’s path into the future as the changes promote one’s well-being.
Understanding how you project onto the world you now live, emotionally aware of how to manage emotions
An attitude of gratitude
A healthy approach to mental and physical aging
A balanced approach to leisure
Creating a personal vision of your authentic design of worth that’s uniquely you
Nurturing family, relationships, and rekindling intimacy with God
Knowing what values will guide you
Expanding and staying active in your social network
Support in a Fallen World
By God’s design and the necessity inherent with living in a fallen creation, people need relationships and environmental support to fill their needs of life. It is not wise to travel alone, but with a guide and support from others. CORE 7 chapters were created for the minister and spouse to experience a place of likeminded support and encouragement.
Discovering Your New Path
It’s important to understand that as a minister’s career ends it doesn’t mean they must invent something totally new. Rather, it means changing, adapting, and transforming something that is already there into something different. It means building upon the experiences of the past to reposition and redirect their path to a better future. It means accepting, embracing and making changes based on the total sum of the minister’s life experiences.
The 3DE Experience provides guidance and awareness for this stage of your life. This experience helps support your road map of accepting, embracing and making changes as you create a new path to an authentic life of worth after full-time ministry.
Dare to Define Your Destiny
The 3DE Experience
Involving two days and an evening gathering with the 3DE Experience leadership team: the interactive seminar leader, certified equine team and coaches who will guide and facilitate your experience, as well as gaining a foundational perspective of the next two days.
The Evening Gathering, the night before the experience participants will gather to meet the 3DE Experience leadership team, other participants and gain an introduction and foundational perspective of the next two days.
The One-day interactive Seminar is a guided interactive small group experience challenging one to explore a new sense of identity and purpose, embrace and make changes based on past experiences, utilizing the tools, assessments and insights as one begins to “refocus, reinvent, and “repurpose” their life and calling for the years after full time vocational ministry.
The One-day Equine Assisted Activities – provides one with an expanded self-awareness to a journey of personal transformation. Horses will guide you to embrace your strengths, explore your vulnerabilities, engage in a fresh look and feel of your authenticity, courage, self-compassion and trust (All ground activities no riding.)
Certified Life Coaches will be available during and after the experience. Coaches will provide four scheduled group zoom coaching conferences after the experience that provide encouragement and support as you continue to process the experience. The coaching sessions will help you follow through with your plans toward the transition of embracing change and a new lifestyle.
Materials and lunch included
CORE 7 Member cost $595 including spouse, or $495 for single member (a $1,500 value)
Non-member introductory cost $695 including spouse or $595 for minister only
DARE – Dare to Discover “Who You Are” Small Group Experience.
A guided small group experience that challenges you to explore a new sense of identity and purpose, exploring emotions of whole-hearted living, and discovering principles of accepting, embracing and making changes to redefine your purpose after a career of service.
DEFINE – Define “Where You Are” The Equine Experience.
You will have opportunities to experience profound self-awareness in your journey of personal transformation through specially designed activities with horses and guided processing with facilitators. Horses will give you a fresh look and feel at your authenticity, courage, self-compassion, and trust. They will help guide you into discovering and embracing your strengths as well as your vulnerabilities. (Note: no riding; all experiential sessions will be on the ground.)
DESTINY – Decide “What, How and When” Personal Life Coaches.
You will have a personal life coach to provide encouragement and support on your journey of learning and development as you accept and embrace change and begin expressing yourself toward wholehearted living celebrating a life of gratefulness and worthiness.
“Being in the arena with the horses was a new experience for me and the rules were very unfamiliar like the new arena of retirement. The debriefing session was very insightful in regard to how to handle or approach the new phase of life in retirement”
What People Are Saying
“This experience was amazing, not just for ministers considering retirement, but for any individual in life. It was eye opening, thought provoking and gives a real sense of who we are as children of God. It was so neat to see that God has an amazing plan for us in retirement, it just warms my heart! Well done, good and faithful servants! Thank you kindly for sharing with me!”
“Breath taking, transformative”
“The Self-Perception Model brought focus and direction for the retirement years-excellent”
“I gained greater insight into my self-awareness and God’s purpose for my life in retirement. It affirmed some of my direction in life and challenged me to greater self-awareness as I seek to follow him.”
“The 3DE interactive seminar was a wonderful reminder of God’s perspective on life, service, deep matters of the heart, and answers to difficult questions. A vitally important seminar for anyone desiring to be honest and reflective about experiences in life-past, present, and future”